Drinking is bad for you…

Oh, you say you’re a smoker? Well drink up then!

Woundgallery.com.

Which wound’s your favorite?

I’m now the #1 return when you type “Mulling it over” into Google!

I’ve added a new ‘clean’ theme to the blog today (which you might be looking at right now) and in the process I’ve crushed a bug which made the text in my blog appear choppy. It was very satisfying. I’m going to add more themes when I get back to Portland and Photoshop. This blog is screaming out for a new, graphics-laden theme to blow you all away.

Behold the list of MS employees who blog. It’s very interesting to read the blogs of people who work for a ruthless monopoly. The writing is clear and concise, and there’s a painful lack of creativity from most of them in terms of design. From browsing a random handful, I haven’t found any that deviate from the standard design boilerplate. Shocking. Just shocking.

edited: I found someone creative! Wow.

This kills me…analog-driven matrix pong.

Embrace Islam, infidels. I’m giving Allah a coveted space in my Sidebar.

The Great Satan has attempted to silence Allah by crashing his server with massive amounts of traffic. Infidel! Do you not know that Blogger is indestructible?

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.

In my first year in office over 2-million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month, leaving us in higher than ever unemployment.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any president in U.S. history.

I signed more laws and executive orders effectively amending or ignoring the Constitution
than any president in history.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for a
ctive duty troops and their families — in war time.

I created the largest governmental department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.

I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in history.

Vote for me in 2004!

Dave Gambill told me a couple of pickup lines which should be entered in this contest.

1. At grocery store: “So, I see you like food. We already have a lot in common…”

2. At Krispy Kreme: “You like donuts? What a coincidence…I’m into fat chicks.”

Here are a couple winners from the site I linked above:

“Look. I hope you won’t take this as any sort of ‘line,’ but there literally is a party in my pants, and you actually are invited. I know how it sounds . . . ”
? Reverend Smoothfield

This one only works on a woman holding a baby: “So, I see you like to fuck.”
? Kevin Lessard

“I’m going outside to make out: care to join me?”
? Joey

I found an interesting article about Doctor Laura’s stand on homosexuality. It seems that as an Orthodox Jew, she says that the practice is forbidden under the old testament. An unknown (or at least difficult to track down) source penned a letter to her, asking her questions related to the old testament:

Dear Dr. Laura

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 5:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev. 4:10-16) Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.