Harvard Magazine published this article about the movie “Super Size Me. I’m going to see the movie tonight after I stop at McDonalds. Yum!

A 12 month price chart of Portland’s gas prices paints a sad picture for SUV owners in gas prices.

nelson laugh
Ha ha!
/nelson laugh

I ride public transportation and cackle every day at all the poor saps stuck in traffic and paying $2.43 per gallon for gas.

Check out Pocket Bush with your speakers on.

You can rest easy–I’m back from my 5 day radical sabbadical with a story of chimpanzee virgin birth in the holy land!

What if Jesus returned as a chimp? What if he returned as twin chimps?

Why does the military feel so compelled to bomb wedding parties back to the stone age in the middle east?

It finally happened, as promised: Andy Kaufman Returns 20 years after faking his death. Read his blog.

Gas stations are getting greedy. This one demands, literally, an arm and a leg.

Register now and ready for the draft, because it’s coming soon. You will be asked questions about your physical, mental, and moral fitness. You’ll be offered three post-mortem preference options as well:

PACKAGE 1: Fed-Ex Overnight, flag-draped casket & formal military funeral (ALL CAMERAS PROHIBITED)
PACKAGE 2: UPS 3rd Day Air, pine box, personal-style Presidential form letter, spot on FOX
PACKAGE 3: Parcel Post Freight, Old Glory-emblazoned Hefty bag, sparkler, used Toby Keith CD

The matter of the Geneva Conventions continues to rear its ugly head, confounding the Allies in their efforts to free the Iraqi people from Saddam Hussein. It seems that the conventions call for the occupying forces to keep a tally of the civilians they accidentally kill. The Allies are hesitant to do this, probably because by conservative estimates they have liberated and then killed somewhere between 9,000 and 11,000 men, women and children.

Hey, we freed them. What do they want from us?

This week’s edition of The New Yorker: Fact is continuing the stinging, painful indictment of Rummy and the defense department. Basically, Rumsfeld and even Dubya knew exactly what was going on at Abu Ghraib and didn’t lift a finger to stop it. Why? Because they specifically authorized it. We can kiss the Geneva Conventions goodbye in WWIII thanks to them. Good job, guys.