Basically, there are three ways the skunk and I are a lot alike. The first is, we both like to spread our 'stink' around. The second is we both get hit by cars a lot. The third is stripes.
-Deep Thought of the day by Jack Handey
.:..:..:.

Super Size Me!

Posted: May 28th, 2004 | Author: Barry | Comments Off

Harvard Magazine published this article about the movie “Super Size Me. I’m going to see the movie tonight after I stop at McDonalds. Yum!


Bad times at the gas station

Posted: May 28th, 2004 | Author: Barry | Comments Off

A 12 month price chart of Portland’s gas prices paints a sad picture for SUV owners in gas prices.

nelson laugh
Ha ha!
/nelson laugh

I ride public transportation and cackle every day at all the poor saps stuck in traffic and paying $2.43 per gallon for gas.


Pocket Bush!

Posted: May 28th, 2004 | Author: Barry | Comments Off

Check out Pocket Bush with your speakers on.


Back…with chimps!

Posted: May 25th, 2004 | Author: Barry | 3 Comments »

You can rest easy–I’m back from my 5 day radical sabbadical with a story of chimpanzee virgin birth in the holy land!

What if Jesus returned as a chimp? What if he returned as twin chimps?


From wedding bells…to wedding hell

Posted: May 19th, 2004 | Author: Barry | 5 Comments »

Why does the military feel so compelled to bomb wedding parties back to the stone age in the middle east?


He’s back!

Posted: May 18th, 2004 | Author: Barry | Comments Off

It finally happened, as promised: Andy Kaufman Returns 20 years after faking his death. Read his blog.


Getting out of hand

Posted: May 17th, 2004 | Author: Barry | Comments Off

Gas stations are getting greedy. This one demands, literally, an arm and a leg.


Register now!

Posted: May 17th, 2004 | Author: Barry | Comments Off

Register now and ready for the draft, because it’s coming soon. You will be asked questions about your physical, mental, and moral fitness. You’ll be offered three post-mortem preference options as well:

PACKAGE 1: Fed-Ex Overnight, flag-draped casket & formal military funeral (ALL CAMERAS PROHIBITED)
PACKAGE 2: UPS 3rd Day Air, pine box, personal-style Presidential form letter, spot on FOX
PACKAGE 3: Parcel Post Freight, Old Glory-emblazoned Hefty bag, sparkler, used Toby Keith CD


…and speaking of Geneva Conventions

Posted: May 16th, 2004 | Author: Barry | Comments Off

The matter of the Geneva Conventions continues to rear its ugly head, confounding the Allies in their efforts to free the Iraqi people from Saddam Hussein. It seems that the conventions call for the occupying forces to keep a tally of the civilians they accidentally kill. The Allies are hesitant to do this, probably because by conservative estimates they have liberated and then killed somewhere between 9,000 and 11,000 men, women and children.

Hey, we freed them. What do they want from us?


The shit hits the fan

Posted: May 15th, 2004 | Author: Barry | 2 Comments »

This week’s edition of The New Yorker: Fact is continuing the stinging, painful indictment of Rummy and the defense department. Basically, Rumsfeld and even Dubya knew exactly what was going on at Abu Ghraib and didn’t lift a finger to stop it. Why? Because they specifically authorized it. We can kiss the Geneva Conventions goodbye in WWIII thanks to them. Good job, guys.