Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says 'you.' after that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
-Deep Thought of the day by Jack Handey

Exposing the truth
Friday August 27th 2004, 9:00 am
politics

Pleasure Boat Captains for Truth want to expose the facts about George W. Bush’s partying days.

We, the men who were served drinks alongside George W. Bush, have partied with real party animals– on the shores of Lake Tahoe, up and down the Gulf of Mexico, in the harbors of Kennebunkport. We have seen good men down a dozen kamikazes, and then swim once more onto the beach. We have watched the buzzed and brightest of our generation play beer pong until they were bent double, like beggars under sacks. We have known these party animals, and we have partied with them.

And George W. Bush is no party animal.

I’m ashamed. How can I show my face in foreign countries as an American, given the fact that my president is a lightweight? How embarassing. I guess it makes sense when you figure that cocaine was his drug of choice in college. He probably just wasn’t a big drinker. It’s still just a shame that he’s both an idiot, and at the same time he can’t hold his liquor.

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Zen and LSD
Thursday August 26th 2004, 3:57 pm
info

I stumbled onto Alan Watts’ astonishing essay about his experiences with psychedelics while on a web surfing trip which started when I looked up Karl Marx quotes on WikiQuote. I think it went something like this:
Karl Marx –> Conflict Theory –> Sociology –> Psychology –> addiction –> Tanha –> Four Noble Truths –> Buddhism –> Zen –> Alan Watts…and from there I hit the Alan Watts mother lode. I love the internet.

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The score
Wednesday August 25th 2004, 5:52 pm
music

This Land is My Land
By Woody Guthrie

Ludlow Music, who claim to own copyright: 0
JibJab: 1

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New Extreme Sports
Wednesday August 25th 2004, 3:02 pm
news

Old and busted: Kiteboarding.
New Hotness: Firediving!

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Don’t forget Starbucks
Tuesday August 24th 2004, 1:22 pm
funny

Another McSweeney’s list, this one for Dave. I expect you to use each of these items at work next week, Dave. Especially the one about the bears.

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For Ryan and Nate
Tuesday August 24th 2004, 1:08 pm
funny

I’m posting a link to this McSweeney’s list for my wrestling-fan roomates. Enjoy, kids.

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Decorations
Monday August 23rd 2004, 12:29 pm
funny

I know John Kerry likes to make a big deal about his three Purple Hearts. What about Dubya’s medals?

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Mom, you were right.
Thursday August 19th 2004, 5:58 pm
info

Mom always told me that sugar was poison. I took it with a grain of salt, but this page endorses that notion wholeheartedly. Interesting. Hyperbole, or fact?

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In 30 seconds, with bunnies
Thursday August 19th 2004, 11:23 am
funny

Jaws in 30 Seconds With Bunnies is the fifth installment in the “In 30 Seconds With Bunnies” series. Be sure to check out The Exoricst, The Shining, Titanic, and Alien.

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Catching on, finally
Thursday August 19th 2004, 12:14 am
stupid

I’d like to give a big shout out to the Washington Post for pointing out that now that Dubya is on the campaign trail and forced to speak unscripted, he’s still dumb. Why isn’t the fact that our President is profoundly retarded making the domestic press? Embarassment? I guess I could understand it if it boils down to simple shame.

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