I was going to be bummed about missing the debates because I’ll be at work. Then I found out they’re not debates in any way, shape, or form.

(10.) They aren’t debates!

“A debate is a head-to-head, spontaneous, structured argument over the merits of an issue,” Rice says. “Under the ridiculous 32-page contract that reads like the rules for the Miss America Pageant, there will be no candidate-to-candidate questions, no rebuttal to your opponent’s points, no cross questions or cross answers, no rebuttals, no follow-up questions — that’s not a debate, that’s a news conference.”

It turns out that the debates aren’t, and haven’t been for nearly two decades.

(9.) The debates were hijacked from the truly independent League of Women Voters in 1986.

“The League of Women Voters ran these debates with an iron hand as open, transparent, non-partisan events from 1976 to 1984,” Rice says. “The men running the major campaigns ended their control when the League defiantly included John Anderson and Ross Perot, and used tough moderators and formats the parties didn’t like. The parties snatched the debates from the League and formed the Commission on Presidential Debates — the CPD — in 1986.”

I’m actually a bit scared that we’re the ones trying to proselytize our brand of democracy to the world. All it takes is reading Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States or Loewen’s Lies My Teacher Told Me to make me want to renounce my citizenship and move to a country with real freedom and democracy, like the Netherlands. It’s not like my vote really matters, I’d be better off playing the lottery.

I wasn’t aware of this until this morning: John Kerry was responsible for breaking open the Iran Contra scandal. The criminal activity of illegally selling weapons to the terrorist, drug smuggling Contras makes Watergate look like shoplifting.

In April 1986, Kerry and Sen. Christopher Dodd, a Democrat from Connecticut, proposed that hearings be conducted by the Senate Foreign Relations Committee regarding charges of Contra involvement in cocaine and marijuana trafficking. Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, the Republican chairman of the committee, agreed to conduct the hearings.

Meanwhile, Kerry’s staff began their own investigations, and on October 14 issued a report which exposed illegal activities on the part of Lt. Col. Oliver North, who they contended set up a private network involving the National Security Council and the CIA to deliver military equipment to right-wing Nicaraguan rebels (Contras). In effect, North and certain members of the President’s administration were accused by Kerry’s report of illegally funding and supplying armed militants without the authorization of Congress.

It’s safe to say that the Republicans might still be bitter about Kerry’s actions, which nearly convicted and imprisoned their President, Vice President (our current president’s father), Secretary of Defense, and other assorted Reagan administration officials. National Security Advisor John Poindexter and Oliver North were convicted of multiple felonies. They were overturned on technicalities.George Bush Sr. issued pardons for several of the terrorism-supporting officials involved in the scandal:

Bush pardoned a number of figures implicated in the Iran-Contra scandal on December 24 1992, including former Secretary of Defense Caspar Weinberger. Weinberger had been scheduled to stand trial on January 5, 1993 for lying to Congress regarding his knowledge of arms sales to Iran and concealing 1700 pages of his personal diary detailing discussions with other officials about the arms sales. As Weinberger’s private notes contained references to Bush’s endorsement of the secret shipments to Iran, some believe that Bush’s pardon was an effort to prevent an order for Bush to appear before a Grand Jury or possibly to avoid an indictment.

I wonder if, behind closed doors, George W. Bush is saying, “That man almost got my daddy throwed in jail!”

I stumbled onto a sobering article written by a guy who is conviced he’ll never meet his match. It’s humorous, but not nearly as funny as the crazed response written by a reader:

THERE ARE TWO THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO SAY ONE 1# WHO GAVE BIRT TO YOU
A CABBAGE LEAF YOU
CAN FROM WOMAN, IT HAS ALWAYS
BEEN ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM & STEVE NO# 2 YOU NEED GOD IN REAL BAD WAY
, I WILL BE PRAYIN FOR YOU , YOU HAVE SOME WORPED
IDEAS, AND REALLY NEED HELP, I DON’T KNOW WHAT KNDA RELATIONSHIP
YOU’VE HAD WITH FEMALES IN YOUR PAST, BUT SPEAKING FOR ALL THE WOMAN
IN THE WORLD, THERE I THREE SIDES TO EVERY STORIE AND YOU PROBABLY HAD
YOUR FINGERS INVOLDED, AND IF YOU’VE NEVER
BEEN WITH THE FEMALE GENDER THEN YOU HAVE NO ROOM TO JUDGE ALL THE
WOMAN IN THE WORLD LIKEYOU HAVE, AND THIS TELLS ME THAT YOU LIKE MALES,
AND YOU REALLY NEED TO READ A BIBLE
AND SEE WHAT AWAITS YOU IN GODS WRATH, NOT TO MANY DAYS HENCE, NOT
EVERY WOMAN IS BAD
OR STUPIED, OR BABYMAKERS YOU GOT DEEP ROOTED PROBLEMS THAT MAY STEM
FROM YOUR PAST BUT
YOU REALLY NEED TO SEEK HELP AND YOUR SITE WAS NOT FUNNY IT
ONLY SHOWED HOW LITTLE OF A PERSON YOU REALLY ARE IN SIDE
AND HOW HURT YOU’VE BEEN ……

Connections was the coolest documentary show I’ve seen. I watched three episodes when I was seventeen, and it stayed with me for the last 9 years. James Burke takes you on a trip through history to show how seemingly unrelated events led to modern day technology. For example, during Napoleon’s invasion of Egypt the French soldiers bough woven shawls and broght them back to Europe, leading to a craze and a huge demand for intricately woven fabric. This led to automated looms controlled by punch cards, which let to the punch card-driver ENIAC computer, which in turn led to the computer you’re using to view my site. I’m very interested in buying the 5-DVD sets of each season…but they’re selling for around $150. I’m going to have to see if they’re at the library.

Update: Woot! They have season 2!
Update 2: Tons of Burke stuff.

Whoo! Yeah! Bacon!

See what happens when you replace everyday things with insects (and arachnids). It’s neat, in an Ugly Zoo kind of way.

Anomalous Data describes an incident at a local school’s meeting with parents, children, and teachers present. This is politics at it’s most disturbing.

The teacher told of an exercise wherein he read from both the Bush and Kerry websites. He read where each of the candidates stood on the main issues of the campaign. He didn’t say who was who…just “this is what candidate one says, this is what candidate two says”.

The kids made tally marks about each thing they agreed with from each candidate.

Then the kids voted on the issues.

Four kids voted for Bush. 26 kids voted for Kerry.

Ok, smart kids right? Wrong.

At any rate, Eden Prairie has grown a crop of Bush/Cheney yard signs that rivals the corn crops of neighboring rural towns. This is Bush country, make no mistake about it…
…as illustrated by the fact that most of the kids who voted for John Kerry were greatly upset by it. They booed the results of their vote. They were upset that they had voted for the “wrong guy”.

Fortunately Bash.org comes through with many, many of them. They’re arranged in such a way that they’re insanely, bladder-burstingly funny.

Ben174 : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
ChrisLMB : If any of my employees did that they’d be fired instantly.
Ben174 : Where u work?
ChrisLMB : I’m the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

They Fight Crime!

He’s a superhumanly strong flyboy dwarf with no name. She’s a man-hating goth bodyguard who dreams of becoming Elvis. They fight crime!

Just go here and keep clicking “Try Again!” for non-stop laughs.

A small study conducted in Bonn, Germany has revealed a antibody-based therapy for Alzheimer’s whch looks promising. It’s too early to say what will come of it, but it’s moving to a large scale, double-blind study. It certainly makes me a slightly less afraid of getting old.