“Coffee is the milk of Chess players and thinkers.” - Turkish proverb

I’ve searched far and wide in Southeast Portland for the perfect shot of espresso. I think I nailed it down this morning when I stopped for a double shot at the original Stumptown Cafe on 45th and Division. It was delicious. In the past, I had leaned toward Pix Patisserie or Palio as my preferred venues, but Stumptown knocked them flat. It was only after I started writing this post that I discovered the hype about Stumptown. After sampling their goods, I can say with some certainty that it’s not all hype. That shot was tasty. I usually wimp out and add some sugar and half-and-half, but this shot rendered those items unncecessary. It was like liquid dark chocolate. I’ll be visiting them again…soon.

Nearly getting yourself killed on a bicycle is much easier that you’d think. I recommend rolling through stop signs in quiet neighborhoods on your morning commute, and thinking that that girl in the jeep saw you. The key to almost being killed, and not actually getting crushed by that four-wheel-drive goodness, is a burst of adrenaline (panic?) which allows you to put superhuman amounts of power to the pedals in a surprisingly short amount of time.

When the girl in the jeep passes, take a look back, wipe the sweat from your brow, and accidentally tumble to the ground when your foot slips off the pedal. This will result in nearly as much shame as when you forgot you were clipped in with cycling shoes at at stop sign. The nice girl who thinks she hit you with her bumper, even after you explain what really happened, will feel very bad and offer you a free haircut, which you needed anyway.

Tired of facing the nation’s highest gas prices, Hawaii is telling the oil companies how it is. They’ve decided to put wholesale gas price caps in place for the state to prevent the two major oil compaines from gouging.

Not everyone is happy with the caps. The governor is fine with the high gas prices, and actually sought to repeal the law in 2004:

Gov. Linda Lingle, who unsuccessfully sought repeal of the 2004 law passed by the state Legislature, has said she worries the cap will actually increase prices and create fuel shortages. The governor has the power to suspend the price caps if she determines they would cause a major adverse impact on the economy, public order, or the health, welfare or safety of the people of Hawaii.

When you have a particularly troubling problem regarding Islamic doctrine, don’t waste time. Go straight to the man himself, the Grand Ayatollay Sistani! He answers questions personally on his web site.

One feature of the Islamic faith that’s particularly interesting is the establishment of Temporary Marriage. Marriage is often temporary in western culture, but it generally isn’t planned that way.

Question : I want to do Muta’h marriage, what are the rules?

§ Answer : Temporary marriage has the following rules:
If you have already a Muslim wife, you can marry another Muslim woman. You cannot have Muta’h contract with a woman from ahle-kitab (People of the Book) unless your Muslim wife agrees with it. If she disagrees, it is haram (illegal). Temporary marriage with a kafir (an unbeliever who does not belong to Ahle Kitab) is absolutely forbidden.
However, in temporary marriage, you will have to read Sigha and you should follow the rules of a permanent marriage. In the Sigha, you will mention time (duration) and Mahr (dowry). Without specifying them marriage would be void. Moreover, it is necessary to read the sigha either yourself or make someone else your wakil (representative) to read it on your behalf.
This is how the Sigha (Verbal Contract) should be read by both sides:
First the wife says: MATTA’TUKA NAFSI FIL MUDDATIL MA’LUMA ‘ALA AL-MAHRIL MA’LOOM.
Then the man says: QABILTU

Or he can say: ATAZAWWAJOKA FIL AL-MUDDATIL MALOOMA ALA AL-MAHRIL MA’LOOM
The woman says: Qabiltu

Everything is translated well, but the Scientific Genius part of the site is pretty confusing. There was a disappointing lack of hard science to back up the claim of genius.

Pat Robertson has called for the United States to asassinate Venezuela’s democratically (but left leaning! so he’s a dictator!) elected president Hugo Chavez. From USA Today:

‘We have the ability to take him (Chavez) out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability,’ Robertson said.

Wow, Pat. What ever happened to ‘turn the other cheek’? Would you really have the United States throw away decades of diplomacy by asassinating a democratically elected leader? We sort of promised we wouldn’t do that any more when we signed up with the Organization of American States. I thought we learned our lesson after we installed Pinochet in Chile. You should read your history.

To be fair, Pat’s not the only religious leader who should be ashamed of himself. The Pope’s lawyers are currently seeking immunity for the Pope in a case where he’s accused of helping to cover up the molestation of three boys by a seminarian in Texas.

I’ll throw in something for the Muslims too, just to be even handed. Easy example: Iran still upholds Khomeini’s fatwa calling for the death of Satanic Verses author Salman Rushdie. Their excuse? In a nutshell, only the issuer of the fatwa can withdraw it, and hey, Khomeini’s dead. What can they do?

You’ve got your pit bull. So what.

Do you have a hyena, baboon, or rock python?

These guys do.

I’ve just returned from touring 10 of Portland’s bridges with approximatly 20,000 of my fellow cyclists. The ride was mostly on roads, although at one point we were on the Springwater Trail, which was about 10 feet wide. This made for a very large bottleneck, so after crossing our first Bridge, the Morrison, we spent about 20 or 30 minutes waiting to get onto the path.

We eventually got on and rode down to cross the Willamette river at the Sellwood bridge. The other large bottleneck was the block party at the top of the I-5 freeway, the Marquam bridge. This spot had one of the best views of Portland on the ride.

Update: Check out the Flickr group on the topic for some amazing panoramic shots of the city (like this one by Major Clanger).

I was shopping around on Amazon and stumbled across this gem: road tire spikes!

The feature list is clear:

* Always land pointed up!
* Non-Glare Paint
* Instantly Cripples Samurai
* 10 per Pack
* Low Price!

Instantly cripples Samurai! Sweet. I’ve found road tire spikes in the past, but they always took some time to cripple the Samurai. I’ll be picking these up ASAP.

Welcome to the future. A bacon recipe every day, forever. Still no flying cars or moon base, but this’ll do. Via MeFi.

If you don’t know who Strongbad is, it means you’ve been living under a rock for quite some time. You probably don’t know who Mahir is, either, or know about All Your Base. *sigh*.

Well, here’s a chance to redeem yourself. Get youself over to the Homestar Runner Wiki and get busy studying. There will be a test on this stuff later.