If you make ships in a bottle, I bet the thing that really makes your heart sink is when you look in, and there at the wheel is Captain Termite.
-Deep Thought of the day by Jack Handey

How to almost get killed on a bike and get a free haircut
Thursday August 25th 2005, 2:43 pm
cycling

Nearly getting yourself killed on a bicycle is much easier that you’d think. I recommend rolling through stop signs in quiet neighborhoods on your morning commute, and thinking that that girl in the jeep saw you. The key to almost being killed, and not actually getting crushed by that four-wheel-drive goodness, is a burst of adrenaline (panic?) which allows you to put superhuman amounts of power to the pedals in a surprisingly short amount of time.

When the girl in the jeep passes, take a look back, wipe the sweat from your brow, and accidentally tumble to the ground when your foot slips off the pedal. This will result in nearly as much shame as when you forgot you were clipped in with cycling shoes at at stop sign. The nice girl who thinks she hit you with her bumper, even after you explain what really happened, will feel very bad and offer you a free haircut, which you needed anyway.

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